Birth and death are a part of life but strangely nothing seems to prepare us for the grief that invades us when someone dies or we experience loss in one of its many forms. In fact, people rarely realize that they are experiencing the results of grief after such things as losing a job or title, moving house, a loss of health or mobility, finding out you are adopted, a beloved pet dies and the list is endless. But here is the good news: grief is not a life sentence. Grief has an expiry date.
Know that grief goes through its natural cycle and there is no one-size fits all. Each person has a different personality and a different response to loss. Allow the griever to have room to grieve. I know that in my family after the plane accident that took my husband and my grand-daughter I was raising, I was at the anger stage while my grandson was still in denial and not facing the agonizing truth of what had happened because it was too painful. I wanted to throw every plate in the house or punch a hole in the wall in the vain attempt to ease my frustration. I felt so angry, I looked for whatever means possible to alleviate the anger. I felt like I wanted to explode.
When someone experiences the pain of grief, it is normal to feel like you are all alone. You might be surrounded by people but still feel lonely. That’s because grief can be introspective. It is easy to isolate yourself or feel isolated when the pain is all-consuming. But, never do grief alone. A close friend or family member to walk along side you is crucial. A counsellor or someone you can openly share with eases the burden. A burden shared is a burden halved has its merit.
Guilt can also be a reaction to loss of any kind, especially if someone close to you has died and you are a survivor. This, in fact is normal and you are not unique in feeling this way.
These are only a couple of common emotions we experience when grieving, but each one is valid and in time will pass. It is comforting to know that the emotional roller-coaster you experience after loss is normal. Now, take a deep breath and breathe. You are worth it!
Thanks for reading
Roma