Loss, grief and hardship are an inescapable, inevitable part of life, but misery and the way we work through each of these is a choice. After multiple tragedies I had to learn some simple, everyday tools to cope with the loss and grief. Today has enough problems of its own without going back over and over what has happened in the past. Although the truth hurts sometimes, we cannot change events of the past but we can change our perspective. As much as we might have experienced some ordeal or trauma in our life, we simply need to learn to live with it. I know it’s blunt but it’s true. Yes, it takes time to adjust and copious amounts of tenacity but I have learned many keys to deal with loss and the angst that day to day life has compounded. One key that simmered my nerves often was a catch-phrase that I used often, “stay in today.”
I cannot count the number of times I used this strategy to alleviate stress. Stress is a major player when difficult times hit. This toxic emotion affects every cell in our body and the outcome is never good. Staying in today or even the moment will realign your thinking and your actions because you have not allowed your imagination to run away with scenarios that may not eventuate. Staying in today keeps you grounded and keeps your emotions in check.
I could stress over the fact that the three most significant females in my life have died but I choose not to go down that track. Yes, I would love to have my mum, daughter and grand-daughter with me today. I would love to ring them and have a chat. I would be ecstatic if I could have a coffee and just five minutes with them but the truth of the matter is that it will never happen. The more I beat myself up and focus on the loss and wallow in the misery of what is unchangeable, the more depressed I will become. So what do I do? I stay in today and enjoy the blessings that I have today. I am grateful for today because the sun is still shining.
Thanks for reading
Roma